I’m often asked the question:
“Hey Russ, do you know how to motivate your partner to workout?”
Maybe your hubby has gained a few pounds since days of the Greek god in the wedding photo. Or perhaps the wife doesn’t share your love of the gym and thus no longer represents what you deem an attractive woman.
But is there a way you can do this without seeming like an inconsiderate jackass?
It’s a touchy subject, for sure.
So I’m going to share with you a golden nugget of advice in the form of a two-step process.
But before I do that, allow me to begin with a fuck you.
Fuck you if your sole reason for wanting your partner to workout is to please your own ego.
And fuck you for getting with somebody and then deeming them not good enough for purely physical reasons.
If that’s what you are hoping to achieve, then this post is probably not for you.
This post is for those people out there who actually want to help their partners and support them. Because sometimes it has nothing to do with sex or appearance. Sometimes it has more to do with diabetes, or depression, or spending time with your partner.
If that last one didn’t make sense, you probably don’t have kids.
So if you’re not a jackass and you genuinely want to help your partner find the motivation to workout, follow these two tips below.
Unrelated. I just enjoy this.
1. Workout Yourself
If you already exercise regularly, keep doing so.
If not, start immediately.
By taking care of yourself you set a good example, and you form good habits.
Your diet will become healthier, and your positive attitude about the physical changes you’re seeing will begin to rub off on those around you. You become an inspiration. A role model, even.
What may seem like Mission Impossible doesn’t seem so bad when you watch a loved one taking action.
2. Remind Them You Love Them
This is the one everybody gets wrong.
If you’re a guy reading this post, then you also have the asset of being a total numb nut when it comes to sensitivity.
Remember all of those good habits we talked about in the first point?
Resist the urge to bang on like a douche about how disgusted your are by people who don’t go to the gym or eat a healthy diet.
I know your heart is in the right place.
In the control room – that’s man for brain – the blueprint for our plan is that these remarks will spur a reaction along the lines of:
“Hmmm.. If my husband wants a woman who is fit and healthy, then that’s what he’s gonna get! Let’s do this!”
But what you’ll actually cause is more like:
“My husband fucking hates me.”
You see, we think our new-found fitness lifestyle means “I can teach her about nutrition” or “I can tell her how easy it would be to tone her thighs or lose belly fat”.
Yeah. Cause that’s what she wants.
If she’s put on a few pounds over the years, she’s aware of it already. Trust me. She doesn’t need you to remind her about all of the things she is doing wrong. In fact, I can think of few things more infuriating than having a person live in the same house insist on pointing out your physical flaws or the macronutrient contents of your favourite foods.
Confidence is usually a big factor in this situation, and putting your partner down about his or her weight is the absolute worst thing you can do.
Remember when I advised you to workout?
That was to become a good example. Not to become a dick.
Enable your partner to draw strength from you, not seek approval.
From experience, I can say that in the vast majority of cases the partner needs to know that you aren’t trying to “improve them”. They need to know that you still love them and accept them for who they are. In doing so, you will help them far more than going down the usual route of criticism and unnecessary ultimatums.
Because through happiness comes confidence.
And through confidence comes more confidence.
That’s what it’s all about.
Now I have a question for you..
Do you agree with my stance on how to motivate your partner to workout? Let me know by dropping a quick comment below.